For Jean

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I’ve worked hard most of my life.

I’ve enjoyed many friends along the way.

I’ve laughed a lot.

I’ve learned a lot.

And I’ve always loved to write.

I traveled to distant lands.

I fell in love.

I had children.

I felt my life was full.

And it was.

I had a friend named Jean.

Jean was 85 years old.

She was a retired nurse.

Jean loved me.

I loved her.

And Jean loved life.

She got sick one day.

Then very sick.

On one of her last days, she whispered in my ear.

She said, “Don’t waste it.”

That made me sad.

I felt a deep sense of regret.

And I woke up that day.

I wanted to change my life.

It took me years to let my light shine.

And to believe that it could.

I also realized something else.

That the light dims a bit more each day.

If we don’t choose to see it.

Believe in it.

And let it come out.

It will fade.

It will grow dimmer.

And then it will go away.

I realized that the light was me.

And you.

And us.

The difference we make.

The imprint we leave.

The caress we give.

The path we create.

To help other people.

The light is it.

The light is within us.

It’s why we are here.

The light is now.

The light is love.

***

With my love,

 Kelly

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84 thoughts on “For Jean

  1. So beautifully said, and it’s just a peeve of mine, so forgive me, because I know that this isn’t about you: It became a lot easier for me when I stopped calling it “mine.” Until I did, I just felt so responsible for outcomes.

    • Hi Brian! If I am understanding you correctly, I think you are speaking about your life. Or your light, with respect to your purpose in the world as meant by your creator. You have to forgive me for possibly not following your highly educated mind here – but if that is what you mean, I completely understand where you are coming from. If it’s not, then please explain your thoughts further to me! I will do my best to keep up with you lol

      • I don’t know. This is pretty obscure to me, too. But as long as I’m not offending you, I’ll keep on trying to express the challenge as I experience it.

        We are the eyes and hands of love in the world. It enters into this place through us. That means it’s not really ours, and in fact people are going to go off and do things with it that we may disapprove, because they confuse being loved with being right.

        Maybe this is part of why people hide their light – because they don’t want to see that happening to the love they bring into the world. As a nurse, this may be easier for you, because people are often in a weakened and humble state when you encounter them, and so can’t really cause too much trouble.

      • You could never offend me, Brian. I am tolerant and open to hear all viewpoints on anything before I form any opinions, and even then, they are never static. I even wrote a post on that recently. I think the ability to be open to changes in one’s ways of thinking is poorly understood. I agree with your thought on confusing love with being right. I think that’s the essence of self-righteousness and is the root cause of carrying a belief, which could be sorely misguided, all the way to one’s death. And yes, that is very dangerous. As far as hiding your own light, do you mean being afraid to take a stand on something? Or the fear of becoming jaded?

      • Thanks, Kelly. Most precisely, it’s the fear of creating self-righteous people that hurt others, and either being tarred by association or having to fight through the smoke screens they set up to get through to the people that need you. It is to find yourself constantly taking stands rather than exercising the fluidity of association that is necessary to the expression of love.

      • I’m with you, Brian. You stated that so nicely. And for me, in order to exercise that concept, I have to work at being cognizant of humility and respect every day. I’ve found that if I work on keeping myself in that place, which isn’t easy to do because of our friend the ego… then it seems to translate into a deeper connection with my clients and patients… maybe that’s the expression of my love they feel. I also believe that if I leave that place, I risk the rapid downfall and damage the ego will bring, which it always does.

      • I did some work with a Shamanic healer one day who admitted that he didn’t feel that he did anything except help the afflicted find a path back to wellness. Once the way was clear, the sick person healed themselves. And of course, that is how Jesus always described it: “Your faith has healed you.”

        Those moments when we find ourselves empowering others to create themselves – they are so precious, beautiful and humbling, just to witness the power that supports that transformation.

        The moments that cause me pain are those in which I see a powerful person forcing a victim to deny themselves. That is usually the culmination of a methodical cultivation of dependency in the victim. Simply to enter in and tell the victim “Don’t surrender! Believe in yourself!” is to invite the predator’s wrath into your life.

        And when the dependency is sustained by misapplied quotations from scripture, it is like a sword piercing my heart.

      • I know you are a man of deep faith Brian, and I appreciate the passion in your convictions. Thank you for your thoughts. 🙂

  2. Thank you, Kelly, for shining on us. I bask in you. I try to send out rays in my life and in BloggyVille as well. Try is the operative word, right? We deal and we do, my friend.

  3. Reminds me of the domino effect of the goodness of life. Amazing how little things get passed on … and the one from who we got probably doesn’t know, and that’s OK with them. Well done, Kelly.

  4. Makes me reflect! Very nice. Sorry about your friend.

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